In "old" society, it was "a given" that men provide and women nurture - the men would go out to work and make the money while the women stay home and take care of the children. This was common knowledge until over 50 years ago when World War II took the men out of the work places and women had to cover for them. Since then, women have been working, making their own money and providing for themselves. On top of that, less women are getting married, more are finding carrers and raising children on their own. As time has moved on, even though it is believed that women make around $.87 to every $1 a man makes, there are married couples in which the woman brings home more money than the man.
In today's society, we have ideals such as "Independent women", "I don't need no man in my life", and "I can do bad all by myself" yet, we still have women who sit back and expect the man to foot the bill 100% of the time. Now, don't get me wrong, chivalry is not dead, but can you really have your cake and eat it too? I understand that it's nice to have someone want to provide for you and make sure you always have everything you want, but in that instance, he should be your husband, lol. You can't sit there and say, "We been dating for 3 months, I expect him to pay my car note, my phone bill, my rent, and take care of my 3 kids! And if he doesn't, he can get out." Because sweetie, I can tell you from now, you will be alone for the rest of your life. (That's probably why you have 3 kids and no man in your life in the first place).
My opinion, learn to want to provide for yourself and not spend all your time and effort looking for a man to provide for you. Because at the end of the day, no man wants to be with someone always looking for handouts. "I am nobodies sugar daddy, and I'm not gonna spend all my money on her while she goes and spends all her money on herself." Trust, there are some men out there who feel like they need to pay for everything all the time, but you will spend YEARS looking for him, and by the time you realize, you will have wasted a large portion of your time, and have pushed too many GOOD men away from you. So my question to you is, what role do you play?
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I agree so much. People need to go on a path of self discovery.
ReplyDeleteI think my role is giving. Its what I do. I pass through and speak and meet so many because Im always looking to help. I think my problem will be my pool of good men will be a rather large one and I wont be able to choose....but each of them could easily choose me.
Awwww. That's so dope. There aren't a lot of women out there who are on the same page as you. Too many women sit back and wait for everything to come to them. It's a shame really. Kudos to you.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately there aren't enough role models in the black community to understand standards. First of all what business anyone have asking someone to provide for them. This isn't Real Housewives and any of the Real Housewives will tell you they worked to get where they are and they also know that if it gets taken away that their plan B is right around the corner. Alot of basic chicks don't have a Plan B so they stick with Plan A over and over on different people hoping it'll stick. As I like to say "Not true boo try again" I know my role in life is teacher, I am always there to provide great insight for a person. I am not saying that in the sense of feeling like I know everything, I am saying in the sense of everyone needs a role model and a role model doesn't have to be someone that's older than you or better off than you but someone who will provide you with that extra and to show you what you are able to do and not tell you what you can't do.
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