Morality.

From birth, we are raised to have beliefs, practices, and morals based on – or lack of – our parents, religion, and education. Our parents give us these because of what they were raised on, from their parents. They try to have us follow in their steps so that as adults we can have a base to build ourselves into socially accepted people. Society conditions us to feel we have to have these things because without them, we are considered “social deviants.” Out of the three, morals are the hardest to instill and in turn, the hardest to change - we can alter what we believe in, we can adjust our practices, but it is hardest to change what we consider morally sound.

Many people ask themselves, “Why do we live morally?” We do, because morality is what we consider to be “right” in the world. Society has taken morality and created laws, i.e. religion creating the “Ten Commandments” and government taking said morals and creating laws and ordinances to mirror those. These laws are more unspoken than anything, and rather than having a reason why these laws are institutionalized; we just accept that crimes like murder and robbery are “wrong.”

Morals, we well as ethics, are based on a multitude of things like religion, education, socio-economic status, etc. Common moral arguments like “stealing is wrong” plays differently for Luke, who lives in San Diego with his upper muddle class mother, father, and brother; compared to Adam, who lives in the heart of Brooklyn with his single mother, his two younger sisters, and doesn’t know where their next meal is coming from. The same goes for Simon, the account executive who shoots his wife and the man he catches her with when he comes home early from a day at work; compared to Dwayne, the police officer who has to shoot and kill the perpetrator in order to secure the safety of the victim. We’re all raised with the beliefs that stealing and killing are indeed wrong, but there are certain circumstances that take us and make us put our morals to the side and operate, doing what “needs to be done.”

In 2010, our society is based off capitalism. We function and live our lives every day searching for money and trying to get as much of it we can. As teachers, we try and give our students lessons and ideas on how to be better people for our world but we start to use incentives to make this happen. “The winner of the school wide recycle drive gets two free movie tickets to any movie of your choice.” Or “The student who brings in the most cans of food for the Katrina care-package gets extra credit on his/her next test.” Not saying these things don’t work or that they’re wrong in any means, but we shouldn’t have to include incentives in the school context as well as the real world to get people to have a selfless concern for the wellness of others. It might be from a pessimistic point of view, but it’s more common that people “do good” because of what they can get out of it, rather than what it will do for the people in our community… or the world.

Ideally, we have morals because they “make us better people” but I don’t know how true that is, because there are so many people who would steal or kill if they knew they could get away with it. In conclusion, we have morals because our parents have given them to us, but we act morally because we have to. I guess rather then focusing on the end result of having morals, we should teach our students why we have morals, then we might prepare them to really make this a better world.

Case Study.

Mr. Ward had been teaching 9th grade English for four years and he figured he’d seen just about everything by now. He’d tried his best to have an understanding with all his students; and made an agreement that he would respect them as much as they respected him. He made sure to never raise his voice and when he addressed them, he called them by their last names.

He tried his best to be a friend to his students as well as a teacher. In the past couple weeks; he’s noticed a change in one of his students, Stacy Kitts. She didn’t have the best grades, but she was a hard worker. He’d noticed that she’s been spending a lot of time with David, one of the more disruptive students, so he attributed her actions to that. Mr. Ward and David had met previously and Mr. Ward had written David off as “too much to handle.”

One day, Stacy came into class upset, and refused to do any work. She wouldn’t stop talking to her peers and continued to be a distraction to the rest of the class. Mr. Ward tried to reach out to her but she wasn’t responding. Halfway through the class, Stacy and Jennifer got into a verbal altercation that, with enough time, would have escalated into something physical. Mr. Ward was fed up and decided to have Stacy escorted to the dean’s office because there was no way he could have continued his lesson with such a distraction.

The next day, Stacy approached him, obviously annoyed,

“Mister, why did you kick me out yesterday?”
“”I didn’t want to Ms. Kitts,” Mr. Ward replied, “But you made it impossible to continue the lesson.”
“You don’t understand mister”
“No, you don’t understand Ms. Kitts. I’ve done nothing but try and help you and be a good teacher for you, and look how you pay me back?”
“No, it’s not like that mister, you see… David…”
“I don’t want to hear it” he interrupted.
“But mister Ward…” she began.
“No Stacy. Now if you can respect me and the rest of the class, we’ll be glad you have you back. If not, I’m sorry but you’ll have to find somewhere else to stay for the period.”
“See?! Yall never understand!” Stacy yelled as she stormed out of the classroom.

• What are the issues in this case?
• What could Mr. Ward have done differently?
• Do you feel teachers take too many problems more personal rather than realizing that adolescents have outside lives as well?
• How was Stacy wrong in the situation and what could she have done to avoid bumping heads with Mr. Ward?

Identity.....

Being raised, as an African American male in Brooklyn, NY is something you can only experience to understand. Parents go to sleep at night hoping to not get a phone call at 1am saying their child is in jail, or worse, dead. My parents, on the other hand, weren’t entertaining the idea of allowing me out of their eyesight. My daily activities consisted of school, afterschool, home, and church on Sundays; furthermore, any extra curricular activities I participated in, they had to approve. My parents made sure they knew what I was doing 24/7, and this continued until I graduated from high school. My first year of college, I tried my best to make up for everything I missed out on the past few years.

Before I graduated, I attended two parties in my high school career, and one was my senior prom. Considering myself to be sheltered was an understatement. Seventeen years old and on my own from home was an experience I could have never imagined. I made some of the most incredible friends I still have to this day, and I have learned how to care and watch out for myself – a task my parents have tried to instill in me, but it was something I had to learn to do on my own. In the four years I’ve spent in college, I’ve done everything expected of a college student and then some. I traveled for my first time, got my first job, my first car, as well as learned some highly important life lessons regarding professional as well as personal relationships. My experience at SUNY New Paltz has opened my eyes and allowed me to notice the growth that I have gone through in the past years.

To try and pick one event from my freshman year in college that changed me above all would be impossible; but I would say, the entire year served as a stepping-stone into the life that I live now.

Is Twitter too much?

Twitter has become a utility where we make too much of our private lives public knowledge. We divulge in our sexual escapades, our relationship woes, our employment failures, and our monetary breakdowns; all for a higher number of followers. But when does it cross that line, when do we have to sit back and really think... "ok, let me not put that out there... let me save something for myself." When do you get to that point where you have to say... "I'm not gonna put that online?"

I've recently had a couple conversations with close friends about "Would you ever date someone you met in person, and let them follow you on twitter?" The situation goes that you meet someone in person, you begin to get to know each other, then he wants to follow you on twitter. I've heard a couple of different opinions on it, but here's mine.

Immediately, I say no - and that goes for all social networking sites (Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, etc). I feel that as a society, we constantly look for the easy way out, or the fast lane to get where we need to be in the least amount of time. There are too many times where I have found people (myself included) saying things like "Oh yeah.. I know you, We're friends on facebook" or "Yeah, I know you, I follow you on twitter." Now for friendships, or people you barely know, this is fine, we can all have glimpses into each others worlds while keeping the understanding that we're not REALLY trying to get to know each other on a romantic level. But, if you're honestly trying to get to know someone on a romantic level, try and avoid social networking sites to save yourself from coming to a misunderstanding about said person - at least until you've known each other for a little while, then you can handle all the other little stuff.

Now on the other hand, if you MEET on a site like twitter or facebook, etc., then all that stuff goes out the window, because there's an impression that you've already gained from that person which makes you feel like you like them. I will say one thing, there's a lot more to know than a cute default and a 140 character limit. We rely on brief bio's and pics to tell us about people that we no longer take the time to get to know people. What ever happened to going out on dates? Having face-to-face conversations? What ever happened to getting to know people for who they really are... and not what they paint themselves to be?

#FoodForThought

150 steps back....

I'd never realized how jaded we are as an African-American community. We sit back and because of how things used to be for us, we allow them to continue - and allow ourselves to fail. On the dawn of a new decade, with as many advances we have made (as people), I am baffled to see how conditioned we have become, to believe that society is made for us to fail... so we will do just that. There is no more "going against the grain" or "making something out of yourself"... it's "I don't have to do anything, but stay black and die."

As you already know, I'm a teacher in a high school in the heart of Brooklyn, New York. Mainly, my day consists of dealing with suspended and tardy kids - my classroom is more of a holding room than anything else. Some days, I'll have 25 kids... and some days, I'll have 5. This particular day last week, the room was full of kids who came to school after 10am (3rd period). The dean who stays with me once in a while, asked the students, "why do black people kill each other?" Their answer was "The white man wants us to fail... They want us to kill each other." THey continued saying, "They give us the drugs and the guns... so we're gonna learn how to use them." I wanted to say I was heartbroken, but that's an understatement. I was crushed. I'd never known a group of teenagers to be so broken to feel that they have nothing to offer themselves.

The idea to work and get an education and get out of "the hood" isn't the same anymore because a lot feel that EVEN WITH an education, that's not enough. A lot of students feel that there is no way out. There is no method to escaping poverty and failure. As disheartening as it is, we have to realize that as African Americans, it WILL BE a harder struggle, because society is already posed to think that we, as a people, are less qualified. But as African Americans from NYC, its even MORE of a struggle, because add the urban mindset with a impoverished mentality, and you have all the variables needed for failure.

I guess we need to start from the beginning - start over - brand new even. Let these kids know from day 1 that failure is never an option. "It's too hard" or "I don't get it" or "I can't" are cop outs and these excuses need to be deleted from our vocabulary. I try and tell my students all the time, "There's always something out there for you to excel in, and that's not guns, drugs, gangs, or sex. You need to get an education so you can do something with your life." College might not be for everyone, but there are other options out there for people. Job Corp, Trade Schools, Armed Forces, etc. For real, with the proper education and guidance, we can change the world - on mind at a time.

Celebration

This post comes from a response I wrote on Lori's blog recently. The end of the response, I wrote:

What kills me most is that in "the hood" success is only celebrated and acknowledged by the elders of the community. We don't encourage our peers/colleagues to "be the best they can be" because EVERYTHING has turned into a huge competition where only we can excel and no one else can.

The fact of the matter is that we are a HIGHLY individualistic society where we fend for ourselves and don't celebrate others who excel at the same craft. We are in constant competition for success where it's a "dog-eat-dog world" and "only the strong survive." No longer do we try and help our fellow man, but we sit and judge, ridicule, and harass those around us who are trying to make something for themselves. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm 100% sure there are few - if not some - who DO celebrate and help those who accomplish things, but in the same respect, there should be 0% of people who tear down those who want to make something for themselves.

The other day, I was at work, and a student was in the room talking to a peer about his experience in jail. Apparently, he had been arrested and was sharing the story of what the "inside" looked like. The young man he was talking to, was highly wrapped up in the story, laughing and smiling - just completely entertained. I found this to be highly disturbing, because I'm sure if he was talking about going on a college trip, the young man wouldn't be NEARLY as interested. Since when is going to jail the "thing to do?" Since when do we celebrate a young man's downfall?

It pains me to see any young person get accepted to college, go back to their neighborhood, and then be ridiculed for having an education and trying and do something for themselves. How dare you make fun of someone for doing something you, yourself cannot? I was blessed to stumble upon a news article in the Chicago Tribune titled, Charter school in tough neighborhood gets all its seniors into college which basically celebrates:

The entire senior class at Chicago's only public all-male, all-African-American high school has been accepted to four-year colleges. At last count, the 107 seniors had earned spots at 72 schools across the nation.

What amazes me, is that they held a school assembly to CONGRATULATE them... and even more amazing? They were honored, not embarrassed to have accomplished such a feat.

As people, we should take the time to crown ourselves as role-models and as educators to help push our youth to understand that a future isn't an option - whether it be college or some other field. Sitting on the block, "chillin wit da homies" isn't a goal, and shouldn't be respected as such. Love yourself and your community enough to realize that it takes a group effort to change the world...but we MUST start with ourselves.

Questions or Comments?
=)

The reason behind it all...

Living and growing up in Brooklyn, New York, you tend to see a lot. As a child, you have to grow up fast in order to survive, and in today’s society, that isn’t so easy anymore. Every day, students battle to go to school and get an education; but more importantly, they battle to be able to see tomorrow. Too many times, especially in 2009, we hear about these people dying, but there are too many times where it is someone young and full of life. Teens living in cities are dying well before their time; parents are forced to bury their children, and that's a serious problem. I was blessed enough to grow up with both my parents at home, to live in a safe neighborhood, and to go to a private school up until middle school – but not everyone is as lucky as I was. By high school, most teens have had their dreams crushed and feel like education is a waste of time because they’re never going to amount to anything. What’s most unfortunate about it is that this is our future! What do we do with a generation of youths who don’t even believe in themselves?

I grew up hearing “it takes a village to raise a child,” and that’s the truth. We need to serve as role models and help teach our youth that the world is vast and there are opportunities around every corner. Currently, I’m working as a substitute teacher in the school I graduated from 4 ½ years ago, Boys and Girls High School. In the heart of Bedford Stuyvesant, Boys and Girls is one of the largest high schools in the state. I know what it feels like to be overwhelmed and feel like nobody even notices you are there. While in school, our guidance counselors were so overworked that we never had time to get to know each other. My student to counselor experience consisted of a couple of meetings each yeah and a few extra meetings when I wanted to get my schedule changed. Nothing really happened until senior year when I made sure my counselor knew who I was and would do all she could do to help me in my future. But what happens to the student who doesn’t speak up? Is he doomed to be lost in the magnitude?

In my opinion, the counseling experience needs to be changed. Students are being recognized by ID numbers and schedules rather than names and faces. I want to take the counseling experience back to one where the student feels comfortable enough that he can come and talk to me whenever he feels like no one else would understand. What these kids need is someone to be there for them, someone to tell them what to do without yelling and screaming at them. They need someone to show them how to respect themselves and the people around them. I want to be able to educate him so that he understands that high school graduation should not be the end goal – that there is so much more to strive for in life. I want the youth of Boys and Girls High School to have the opportunity to go away to school – get out of the neighborhood and experience life away from Fulton Street, because only then will they learn and be able to figure out what life has in store for them.

Just because you aren’t a certified teacher doesn’t mean you can’t teach a valuable life lesson. The ability to be an effective teacher comes from having a passion for what you’re doing, and my passion is helping the people in my neighborhood. With the help of Graduate studies and a Masters in School Counseling, I hope to be able to make an effective change in the future of my community.